I absolutely hated Cars 2. I thought it was stupid, not funny, unoriginal, predictable, and worst of all, way too violent for the children it was intended for. In short, it was anti-Pixar. But I despise James Bond so much that I think that Cars 2 is still better. Here’s why.

No STDs

Guys (and girls, I’m sure) might think about sexy romance scenes when they think of Bond; all I can think about is how many sexually transmitted diseases he and his harem are spreading around. I can’t help it! It might be sick but it’s true.

Cars 2 is Less Sexist

It’s still not great, without many female leads or racecars—but at least the female cars are not explicitly sex objects. They don’t have anatomically disrespectful names, either.

Cars 2 is Booze-Free

Do we really need martinis in spy movies? I hope it doesn’t make me sound sexist, but I really do prefer my guy to have either a large coke or a mug of Guinness rather than a tiny martini. The presence of either in a movie, however, is trite.

Pretty Colors

A bond movie is all skin and suits, with some pyrotechnics thrown in. Where is the fun in that? I’ll take animation over that any day.

A Wider Variety of Cars

Forget the snooty Bentleys; there are plenty of racecars, tiny economy vehicles, and of course Mater, the star old pickup truck, in Cars 2.

A Thumb to the Snootiness

In Bond movies, his snobbery is considered ideal, something that fans seem to enjoy (though I’m not sure why; because they want to be rich and carry a gun, too?). In Cars 2, the one theme I did enjoy was that though McQueen’s embarrassment regarding Mater and Mater’s own parochial attitude were played originally as negative, in the end it was the snooty car who was the villain—and Mater, small-town boy as he is, was the hero. (That said, I don’t like it when we glamorize being a redneck, either!)

 Humanness

The very reason I don’t like Cars 2—how they substituted cars for humans so they could do torture and death scenes without consequence—actually makes it better than the literally human but unfeeling coldness that is James Bond. The characters in the cartoon actually move you—at least, they did so much in the original film that they left the moving feelings with you in this movie, even if there aren’t many—and seem much more human, despite their metallic parts.